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Funniest Cooking Disasters?

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  • Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    [Replies: 52]
    Last Post Oct 25, 2006 10:19 AM by: Shan Triggs
    Shan Triggs
    2731534
    Posts: 1,549
    Registered: 10/3/06
    (53 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 25, 2006 10:19 AM
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    LOL! That sounds like something I'd have to write on a recipe that I might give to my daughter. LOL. She's currently barely passing home-ec! Apparently she's her "fathers child". LOL!

    ~Shan

    > Have a newlywed couple next door. He kept coming
    > over last night with some pretty strange request, so
    > I went over to investigate. She was making meatloaf,
    > which she had done before, but was just having
    > problems.... wanted me to read over her dad's recipe
    > again for her. Her Dad had just left after a week
    > long visit and he had added a few notations in the
    > recipe's margin. Next to 2 eggs was the note "take
    > out of shell".

    Shan Triggs
    2731534
    Posts: 1,549
    Registered: 10/3/06
    (52 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 25, 2006 10:16 AM
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    Oh my gosh, Meryl! LOL! Thank goodness you got better pretty quickly. I'd have been terrified of what came after the milk and tuna. Blech!

    ~Shan


    > My father must have been born with no taste buds. He
    > firmly believes that if two ingredients taste good
    > separately, they'll taste good together.
    >
    > I could go into detail about his signature dish;
    > Weenies Fettucini but, amazingly enough, that is not
    > his worst creation.
    >
    > When I was in my late teens, my wisdom teeth got
    > badly infected. Even after having them removed I was
    > bedridden with a fever for almost a week. In that
    > time, all I could eat were packaged mashed potatoes.
    >
    > Concerned for my health, my father came up with what
    > HE thought was the perfect solution. He walked into
    > my room proudly bearing a large cup with a beige
    > creamy substance in it. Mystified, I asked him what
    > it was. "Well", he said, "I was concerned you weren't
    > getting any protein so I put some tuna and milk in
    > the blender so you could drink it".
    >
    > Thankfully, I got better before I could be convinced
    > to try the tuna milkshake. I doubt it will ever
    > catch on...at least not with humans, my cats on the
    > other hand, think it's the best thing ever created.
    >
    > Meryl

    David Griggs
    2701101
    Posts: 967
    From: South Carolina 'smiling faces, beautiful places'
    Registered: 8/13/06
    (51 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 23, 2006 7:15 AM
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    Have a newlywed couple next door. He kept coming over last night with some pretty strange request, so I went over to investigate. She was making meatloaf, which she had done before, but was just having problems.... wanted me to read over her dad's recipe again for her. Her Dad had just left after a week long visit and he had added a few notations in the recipe's margin. Next to 2 eggs was the note "take out of shell".
    David Griggs
    2701101
    Posts: 967
    From: South Carolina 'smiling faces, beautiful places'
    Registered: 8/13/06
    (50 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 20, 2006 11:43 AM
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    Hey Viv,
    I had gotten a pound of chicken liver so I could add a couple to the giblet gravy... ended up using the entire pkg and some thawed out chicken thighs.
    Viv
    Viv
    Posts: 1,823
    Registered: 12/11/04
    (49 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 20, 2006 11:26 AM
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    You guys are making me laugh. David so how did you save the day???
    David Griggs
    2701101
    Posts: 967
    From: South Carolina 'smiling faces, beautiful places'
    Registered: 8/13/06
    (48 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 19, 2006 9:01 PM
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    MoLiver4u - at least your dad didn't try it with 'liver'!

    Not a real disaster, was asked to make the giblet gravy for our klans thanksgiving (30-40 relatives) because my mother had bragged on me. Well, I checked my recipe carefully and got everything I needed well in advance. Thanksgiving morning I got the water in the pot boiling, added some chopped celery and onion, and.... oh my gosh! I hadn't been asked to cook the turkey so I had NO giblets.
    DJ
    795120
    Posts: 1,803
    From: Texas
    Registered: 7/9/03
    (47 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 19, 2006 8:07 PM
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    Oh my gosh, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard!!Reminds me of Saturday Night Live's Bass-O-matic...anyone remember that??? CJ, David??...anyone...anyone? Bueller??????
    Mo Liver4u
    2727835
    Posts: 515
    From: Campbell, CA
    Registered: 10/5/06
    (46 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 19, 2006 7:19 PM
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    My father must have been born with no taste buds. He firmly believes that if two ingredients taste good separately, they'll taste good together.

    I could go into detail about his signature dish; Weenies Fettucini but, amazingly enough, that is not his worst creation.

    When I was in my late teens, my wisdom teeth got badly infected. Even after having them removed I was bedridden with a fever for almost a week. In that time, all I could eat were packaged mashed potatoes.

    Concerned for my health, my father came up with what HE thought was the perfect solution. He walked into my room proudly bearing a large cup with a beige creamy substance in it. Mystified, I asked him what it was. "Well", he said, "I was concerned you weren't getting any protein so I put some tuna and milk in the blender so you could drink it".

    Thankfully, I got better before I could be convinced to try the tuna milkshake. I doubt it will ever catch on...at least not with humans, my cats on the other hand, think it's the best thing ever created.

    Meryl
    Leslie Chapman
    1664792
    Posts: 201
    Registered: 3/29/05
    (45 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 19, 2006 3:29 PM
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    Hi Viv! Well, maybe I didn't try quite as hard as I could have... haha. Here's my recipe for Pumpkin Bread:

    (makes 2 loaves)

    3 c. sugar
    1 c. salad oil (I just use some kind of veg oil)
    4 eggs, beaten
    2 cups pumpkin (canned)
    3 1/2 c. flour
    2 tsp. baking soda
    2 tsp. salt
    1 tsp. baking powder
    1 tsp. nutmeg
    1 tsp. allspice
    1 tsp. cinnamon
    1/2 tsp. ground cloves
    2/3 c. water

    Cream sugar and oil together. Add beaten eggs and pumpkin, mix well. Sift together dry ingredients, then add dry ingredients alternately with water. Mix well. Grease and flour 2 9x5 loaf pans, pour batter into pans. Bake at 325 for 1-1 1/2 hours if using glass loaf pans. If using metal pans, temp at 350 (I use metal pans, and I always check after an hour, they're usually about done). Test for doneness with toothpick.
    Shan Triggs
    2731534
    Posts: 1,549
    Registered: 10/3/06
    (44 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Oct 19, 2006 10:57 AM
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    Several years ago I bought a ham (simlar to a cure21 but a store brand). I cut the hams plastic wrap off, wrapped it in foil, put it in a dish with a tiny bit of water and baked it almost all day (I started it frozen). When we pulled it out I smelled something funny. I unwrapped the ham from the foil to find that I had missed getting the SECOND layer of plastic off of the ham (in my defense, it looked like part of the ham!). Ever since then my kids remind me to "get all the plastic mom, or we'll have stinky ham again". I'm sure I have more cooking disasters that are just buried deep in the dark corners of my memory. LOL!

    ~Shan
    Viv
    Viv
    Posts: 1,823
    Registered: 12/11/04
    (43 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Sep 26, 2006 5:26 PM
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    Leslie, you don't have us fooled. You messed up the food on purpose! ;) I would love to have your pumpkin bread recipe. I also make that and it is a Holiday favorite here.
    Leslie Chapman
    1664792
    Posts: 201
    Registered: 3/29/05
    (42 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Sep 25, 2006 10:50 PM
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    This is the best post ever. I tried to make T-day turkey for my very picky (but still very lovable) in-laws one year and toasted the heck out of it, along with everything else I tried to make. Since then we've established a new "tradition" where THEY make the food and I clean the mess. Works for everyone!! They DO appreciate my pumpkin bread, though... ;)
    David Griggs
    2701101
    Posts: 967
    From: South Carolina 'smiling faces, beautiful places'
    Registered: 8/13/06
    (41 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Sep 25, 2006 9:55 PM
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    Only in the South.

    My neighbor, John, thought he would help himself to a farmers collard greens field. Since my neighbor had plenty of greens to go around, he invited another neighbor, Robbie, for supper. When supper was served, Robbie remarked "there's something not right" with these greens - thats because John had harvested young tobacco leaves!

    (names changed to protect the guilty)
    Susan Johnson
    2721726
    Posts: 26
    Registered: 9/19/06
    (40 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Sep 25, 2006 9:01 PM
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    Hi Everybody. I am new to this community, and I've been waiting for something to "say" and jump right in. I found this site about a week ago, and I am HOOKED!!! My family is delighted that my "new hobby" is to try to cook something "different" everyday, even after working a long,hard day. Anyway....I read the last 39 "disaster" stories, and LOL, but I LOVED Weez's Meatball Jello Squares story! I've had plenty of disasters, too, but the one I can't live down, when I was newly married and my husband was coming home from a very late night shift, I was going to surprise him with brownies, hot from the oven. I fell asleep, and when he walked in, the house was smoke-filled, and the brownies were black and rock-hard. To this day, if I make "brownies" he calls them my "blackies" (even when they turn out good). Keep the stories coming.....I love this website! You all ROCK!
    Viv
    Viv
    Posts: 1,823
    Registered: 12/11/04
    (39 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Sep 25, 2006 6:55 PM
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    That is a cute story Carol. It makes for a fond memory. I can think of a lot worse things you could have spiced your soup with. :)
    Carol
    2719934
    Posts: 549
    From: Canada
    Registered: 9/23/06
    (38 of 53)

    Re: Funniest Cooking Disasters?

    Sep 24, 2006 11:14 PM
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    I love homemade soup and I have a great recipe for Vegetable Beef Soup. My favourite part of this soup is the barley. One day my daughter and I were cooking (she was expecting her first baby and was craving homemade soup). I had thrown everything together in my soup pot and reached for the barley. I grabbed a small plastic container with what I thought was the barley, dumped it into the soup pot and to my dismay, the "barley" floated. My barley had never floated before so I took a closer look and realized that I had just tossed about 3/4 of a cup of SESAME SEEDS into my soup!! Somehow, we managed to salvage the soup, but my daughter will never let me forget the day we made soup together.

    --
    Carol B.
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